It was evening time. The family sat together having tea, the
kids- milk. It was rare that they all met at one place. Father remained out for
work regularly, mom taught Senior Secondary students at a private school. The
elder of the children was Roshni, in her 20s. Rohan, the younger one, was
twelve years old. The television was on, a reality show being broadcasted. The
father was happy; he was spending leisure time with his family after almost 3
months. Lately he had been to West Bengal to visit a factory there. He had
audited thousands of companies before and was an expert in the work. Now he was
on a long holiday, so there wasn’t any hurry and thus a lot of time for the
family. He was worried that his children did not lose critical parental
teachings. Both parents remaining out of home, he had always thought of the
kids. That day he smiled within,
watching his children happy.
Mother had a similar concern. She had been teaching at
school for seven years now. Children grew up into adults within two years, but
she hadn’t got the chance to watch her own going through that phase. Rohan was
yet young, but Roshni, she had successfully crossed the transition, she
thought. That day she was joyfull, seeing the family together. Sipping the tea,
she asked Roshni, “So when’s the next Sem Exams?” Roshni, who hadn’t yet left
milk when others of her age had hopped on to vodkas and beer, gestured that
they were in the next month. It wasn’t that Roshni was not modern or dynamic,
she was very much both. But she had been very careful about addictions. None
knew whether it was the independence she had, which she respected a lot, or the
nerve-bending story of her uncle, who had died of drugs. Difficult story it
was. For now, the story had been off their minds, the grief had gone.
The advertisements were taking a lot of time now. Father
lost his patience. He tuned into another channel. News. This was yet another
thing he had missed since his appointment as an auditor. Yes, mobile phones
gave an alternative, but the excitement and spicy nature of television news
kept it a step behind, for the father at least. The breaking news then was of
the popular IPL Spot Fixing. One small incident had led to huge secrets being
unearthed. Many big names were now being linked to the fixings. The father
finished his tea; mother was already into the kitchen. He picked up the mugs,
dishes and moved to the kitchen. Roshni had got a phone call and was in the
balcony with her coffee. It was beautiful out there in the balcony with cool
breeze. Rohan, as usual was still with his mug full of milk, staring at the
yelling news reporter. Tea time was over.
The father was done with arranging dishes in the rack, one
more pleasure he had missed for long, with his wife. They both had made up a
very good couple and the marriage was very successful. He moved out of the
kitchen to remind Rohan to empty his cup faster or else he would remain glued
to the television. But he knew he had left the news on, nothing interesting for
the little Rohan. He entered the living room and to his surprise or shock, the
news had changed. IPL Spot Fixing was done and news, rather an awareness
program was being shown, one which made the Father feel awkward. The line
flashed in red on white- ‘Should Porn be Banned in India?’ He remained frozen
between the little space which joined the kitchen and the living room. His mind
stuck between yet smaller one. What should he do now, was the only question
moving in his mind. Rohan continued watching the show, sipping his milk.
The situation was ‘critical’. Dilemma; a huge one for the
father. Several thoughts were now brushing past his mind. He had two options:
either he could call Rohan and ask him to finish the milk faster and switch off
the TV, pretending there was so much work to do, or he could ask him, talk to
him about the thing he was watching. The first one was easy enough, he could
just walk past Rohan to the switch board and turn off the TV, and tell him to
hurry up and that he had his homework to do. Topic finished! The second option
was much more difficult. He had to gather courage and sit beside his son and
tell him what he was watching about. He had ‘feared’ that this situation would
come sometime for him, but he hadn’t prepared for it. How would he face it, he
had either driven the thought off or had thought of how to drive away the
situation. While he was stuck in the little space, the mother entered. Same
reaction. She tapped her husband on the shoulder, and in the language of the
eyes, asked him to do something. He was too involved into doubts that nothing
came to his mind but just one word to his vocals; “Rohan!” It was a strange
call in terms of the pitch and tone. Never had he called him like that.
Actually he hadn’t this time too, it had just come out. Rohan turned to his
dad, expecting him to say something more. Surely, he knew nothing about the ‘word’.
Or else he would have jumped out of surprise knowing his dad had been watching
(something which wasn’t wrong). Father knew nothing ahead. He walked towards
him and asked whether the mug was empty. Rohan, like any other child, gave a
witty smile and stuck his mug to his mouth pretending to drink the milk. His
cuteness hit the father really hard. How more can anyone be innocent? He was
worrying worthlessly. It was rare; children getting to know about porn through
things which were meant to stop it. But rare did happen that day.
The situation hadn’t passed yet. The father had sat beside
Rohan, the TV remote now meters away from him. He sat watching helplessly.
Atlast he decided to take up a step. Words blurted out of mouth, “So do you
know what you are watching about?” Rohan looked up at him and nodded in
refusal. “Dad what is P-O-R-N?”, he could not pronounce the word. Father took a
pause, organized his words and said, “Son, you know how a lotus grows?” It was
a strange reply. Rohan gathered interest now, as his dad had replied
indirectly. “No! How does it dad?”, he asked. “It’s very interesting fact, you
know! Lotus is a beautiful flower, but it only grows in mud. If you lift a pink
beautiful lotus, you’ll find a huge muddy net of its roots. It’s natural
miracle that such a beautiful flower grows out of mud and turmoil.” Rohan
stared at his father; the real explanation was yet to come. “So now consider a
person who lives underwater, okay? And another one living above it. What will
the man underwater see when he looks at the lotus?” “Roots, mud!”, Rohan
exclaimed. “Perfect!”, the father smiled. “And what would the man looking from
above? What would he see?” “The flower!
Pink!” “Yes, you are right again my boy! So now if the man living underwater
remains there for long time, he’ll have a permanent notion about the flower,
rather the thing he sees, that it is muddy, tangled. On the contrast, the man
above will have a beautiful impression of lotus!” “Hmm”, Rohan was so much into
listening that only this came out. “So why did I tell you this? Because,
P-O-R-N, ‘porn’, is a thing visible to us when we see a ‘lotus’ from below, the
mud, the dirt. And what is the lotus here? Love, intimacy, relations, human
reproduction.” “Human reproduction?” “Yes. You’ll soon have a chapter in
science on it. Come to me when your teacher starts it.” Rohan nodded. “It’s all
about how you see it, my son. Look from the above, you find beautiful things
such as love, and look from the below, you find this dirt.” Rohan had
understood it well what his father had been telling. Mother smiled, who had
been constantly watching the episode. A child was saved from being introduced
to sex through porn.
It’s common now that children aged 11-12 years are being
introduced to sex and sexual matters through media like porn. This medium is
not only creating a bad impression of a beautiful thing, but also inviting an
addiction. What we need is a good conversation. The awkwardness in discussing
sexual matters must be removed, and charity always begins at home. Curiosity is
the biggest teacher, both in a positive and negative way. If Rohan would have
been imposed upon that porn was bad, a curious mind would have surely led him
to find a way to it. That’s the difference between imposition and realization.
If rapes and sexual harassments have to be stopped, such crucial steps must be
taken. So stopping major social problems is into our hands, open up your mind
and save the world or shut it up and help it rot.
